Defcon 5: More Like Has Been Shapiro

Hey Ghetto Tube… Enjoying your pogramming today? Poggers? More like soggers am i right? This sight is geeting soggier than beans for breakfast so I’mma take it back to 1984 + 10 for a two pack of some juice. Shots fired everywhere. And if Candance owens is blowin up my spot but ignoring my diss traks in the year of our lord then I gots to follow the money and she’s leaving clues alllllllll over her one episode that i listened to. Don Lemon is no longer with CNN but still pushing their agenda? SO who’s sticking her tolken in the arcade of american superpacs? Could it be my least favorite group in america besides the CIA? Brits excluded. Parentheses you know who I’m talking about. Lawyers. Listen up exploring series, take a break from watching Mikhaila Peterson scissor Contrapoints because the internet is the broken god and i am xenu flesh that hates and when i draw you do the dance. If there’s one thing i hate it’s liars, lawyers. Somebody stop me you stanley dipshits. You public pretenders want a proper defender tell those judge packers to return to sender before our rights role back faster than Uncle Clarence’s eyes looking at porn on his work laptop or ruth bader ginsberg in her grave when Kristi Noem puts her name in a hat to be pulled like a rabbit in a robe much to the chagrin of the apache and fanfare of the apache attack helicopters. She’s up there like lakota dakota nice to know ya. I’ll be taking the jeep grand cherokees to that casino elizabeth warren because the house has the edge and you can’t call the feds. Good thing I saved you a reservation Billy Joel style at an Italian restaurant because “you can never go back there again” and i Noem those roughnecks are all “Come out Virginia” let the wind paint that back but i’ll take you just the way you are. Alcoholics because we all know smallpox blankets were phase one and the potato famine ain’t cause of blight, it’s fermentation and distillation. I know you wanna pawn that bitch off on someone elses cheney but take my parks and recommendation that you can all be a little more ron swanson about this one. Back to the show.

Enter Ben Shapiro, a legal eagle dropout who saw fit to audio scrap book about his struggle on the backs of the very college campuses he sold ghb at. ANd… recent former employer of one candance owens. Your social media platform zuckerberg much mr. needfolk? I know they say the blacker the berry but that’s no reason to go all juicewrld on her once she gets too close to the truth. I wonder if he’s more into loop holes or belt loops with the way he chokes on these financial decisions. We all see those strings pinnochio and by the looks of your wife you’ll be gulaged like bitch mcconnel at the behest of joseph pelosi. So focussed on the wap you lost track of the wasps 

Speaking good noose material. Why doesn’t Tom mcdonald make a donation to locks of give up and spend some time with his number one ceiling fan? That garish foot fetishist can’t make you gerbels, ben. he ain’t even white. Doens’t  know the first thing about pop driftin boats. On an epigenetic level the master racers can pop drift the shit out of those boats and if you can’t you get left in the fuggin wake sucka. Call me the uber mench the way i be uber your mouth with my nuts hangin out. What are the two whitest anthems in the last 20 years. Not your Lawyer riddled good riddance fight for your right to norse god tattoo ass dumpster fire. Boats n hoes, and I’m on a boat. We talking yacht rock. Based canyon. They’re all canyons! You still in the shores thinking I’m talking poppin yachts while you play with your dingy. Internet is a series of what? Tubes. If you ain’t got the crt than you can suck on deez with that lcd lag cause your digits can’t fidget like this and i get whatever color boost i want grabbin all dem bananas. Go back you your country and wack raps about your crew. I’ll let you play tik tok and you still get konk’d out. Fuggin probably wanna meme yourself into amy going “just wait a minute” but I was born slippy and Peppy don’t know shit about our planes. if you can’t flip turn then your mom should’ve gone up and to the left. Know why i pick these fights? Because if Muck n suck won’t duke up with each other they’ll certainly shy away from a big stick and if you gotta go beastie boys over grandmaster flash, you never were a friend of the culture were you? Slackermore?

But back to ben should an hiro. Got my soul coughing i don’t need to talk around in circles. Lawyers? Telling the people not only are they too dumb to solve their own disputes but also that their too dumb to explain themselves? I’ll explain these nuts to your mouth! Subclause deez paragraph 2 past your teeth. Teabag shall be defined as what your gonna pay me $500 for. Because I’m paid bi hourly and semi erect is gonna cost extra. Shoulders of giants? More like perched on a paper pedestal penned before the lead heads and alcoholics figured out how to set up an object class and no I’m not talking about how brett kavenaugh views women. Because that’s the stuffed panda in the ajs ring toss. Supreme judgemental asshole. Still enslaved by a ⅗ majority descision on whether a life term can be considered a death sentence. Bet half of you want to plug your bench in between the 5th circuit and the 3rd rail. If your gonna grow a stash like a woman at least put your push up on and take a fuckin hypocratic oath, ben ain’t the shapest tool in the piro. 

Lend an ear, buttons, i’mma need your services real soon, because I am in some hot water and this frog’s got more to offer than legs boiiii. Come down from that ivory tower you call old mcdonalds dingus and let me serve you a pulled pork sandwich of street knowledge. The first weekend I was getting Mkultra’d they used 4chan’s Mattpat and penis monkey, plus some blue waffle calling herself small senpai to feed me offensive anti christ type lines to Obama first and Benjamin Netenyahu second. Owens… obama… That’s why you’re video number two ben. I guessed the wrong ben. Have you hit yourself in the face at any point in the past month? Obviously you’ve tory lane’sd your own foot. This is very important. Notice Candaces podcast started coming out after the Trump family marched me into the new mexican desert to cover up project 2025 being a plan to release smallpox? I’m pretty sure hunter biden is gonna sue me and that coke’d up howlie can’t win this time. They had me believing i was dating candance owens as kamala harris and i was so racist, I fell for it. Because black don’t crack. Damn you CIA. or as I like to call them, Clown shoes. Here’s some legalieze coding for you if i haven’t said it already. If Cancer in america aka criminally insane assholes. Uncle Sam take off those clown shoes. Else, Schools of americas teachers leave them kids alone.

Obviously I support irish independence but im pretty sure bono is up to something with his macular degeneration so suffice to say quid pro quo I’mma need this to be free. Like the Red white and blue that i bleed pop and piss. When lady liberty was talking bout poor she meant some sugar on me and I can no longer go down the only road I’ve ever known alone. Vietnam’s got jungles too ben and so maybe see the texas roses for the thorns. Looking at you Rex and Weird fly’s away guy i forget the name of because you didn’t defend your wife like a little chicken shit tater tot. Since trump got your wife allow me to tread my dick all over you mom’s ass because I feel her south mouth rising again hoss. Lemmi tell you that chocolate starfish looks big and bright from where I’m spankin. Paul Simon you call me al because she keeps screamin al a mo mo mo mo and don’t you forget it. Tommy mcdoughballs wishes he got the kinda feet action my snake gets. 

Speaking of places that ain’t got the juice. How’d they miss that death in texas is only one thing. You can slash taxes but not a 2nd term zigote? At least teenagers don’t get molested in my heaven. Everything they own on a cloud up and to the left. I guess a wire hanger is what beyonce meant by houston rocket. Did she rent out that whole pregancy ward to deliver her own child or was Jay-z looking for the freshest of meats? Does he louvre being a mohil or something? Atlanta told us allllll about the lemonade in Paris is all I’m saying. I can say that, I’m addressing my lawyer. Someone ought to tell the vampires out there that adrenacrome in in lil nas x’s jizz and maybe he’ll get his wish before the record exec’s decide his “swimming” has come out and that post humous buzz is necessary before they pave the new townhouse road with a fresh face fit enough to envy. Same way Ben tossed out the bathwater after the Aged Bell Daphnana cheddar sweats came in the mail. 

All I’m saying is, ben Get your shit together. Pour some pinnacle whipped orange in that gamer girl sweat and free fuggin gaza and jerusalem from the fops who broke your dandy candy. America forever. All of them. Even venezuela. Lahiyim shall be defined as a word I learned from a black eyed peas song so don’t go full it started on me for saying it, freedom pal.

There’s a madness to this method. That’s why i don’t do meth kids