Excuse Me... May I Speak With the Owner

Dear you, reading this,

I tried to get rich as an insurance salesman and it drove me insane. I wrote a whole article that sounded like a crazy conspiracy theory because I thought I could sell insurance to Walmart. That's not right.

There's a logical fallacy that keeps you trapped in bad investments. When you put money and effort into something, you want to stick with it because you've gotten this far and you don't want to lose or fail. That's why I try and invest in others. Other people want to do other stuff.

I've been talking to a lot of business executives, artists, promoters, sales reps, and educators about hierarchies. I'll try and break down what I've come to understand about establishing yourself. 

Accept others reality

Play the game. These people have invested countless hours just to be at the place they are, when they are there. Keep in mind so have you. Even if you randomly stumble upon a place, there's a story behind it. The person you're talking to put a certain amount of care into their appearance and social grace. For example, Slacks are basically pajama pants for adults. Furthermore, dresses are just baggy t-shirts. However, dresses and slacks look better than pajama pants and baggy t-shirts. How are you supposed improve the world if you can't even improve your appearance? You can see this in the backlash to hipsters. If they're going to invest all of this time and money in their appearance, than why not just play the established game? If all the world's a stage and we are merely players, than showing someone that you have the same costume designer is a great way of establishing that you're in the same play. Yeah I made that folksy Shakespeare wisdom practical.

The same applies to dialogue. English is a crazy language because words vary by region, occupation, social circle, and setting. The words "got to first base" brings up a different image in every readers head. If you're going to the bad part of town and someone is asking you to find shards, look that shit up on urban dictionary before you ask the dealer! You don't want any part of that shit! When you talk to someone in a specific field, at least do some general research into the field. You can even do this in the lobby or before a phone call. I guess what I'm saying is come prepared.

Listen to Everything (trace threads)

First off, remember names, no excuses. It's not a talent. it's a skill you can practice. (unless you have that brain condition) That's not even me talking. Dale Carnegie dedicated a whole chapter to that in How to Win Friends and Influence People.

When you are listening to someone you want to remember as much of what they say as possible, but there's really only two things you need to remember: What you want more information about and the last thing they said. When it's your turn to talk, repeat the last thing they said in your own words. Follow that with an anecdote or interesting spin that starts from there. Tie it back to what they said which you wanted to know more about. Bliggity blam, you have yourself a conversation. When you trace the common threads, there's no telling what can happen. You'll never be at a loss for words and you can sit back and enjoy the company.

Work With People You Trust and Trust You

You want to find the person who is going to allow you to do what you want. Fuck that "Alpha" shit. Sometimes the top dog has their plate full and one of the crew can help you faster. Although, It never hurts to have friends in high places.

This seems obvious, but it must be addressed. If you start thinking someone is trying to take advantage of you, it begins to warp your mind. One of two things happen. Either you withdraw, so they won't be able to do too much damage or you try to take advantage of them. Withdrawing is the right thing to do in this situation. Trust takes a while to establish and rushing it makes you seem untrustworthy. Desperation is not a good look.

If the person you're working with doesn't trust you, it can be just as toxic. You become less likely to take creative risks for fear of being reproved. This creates a spiral where it seems as if you're not doing as much. At that point, it's probably time to leave. You might want to evaluate how trusting you are. Being too trusting can paradoxically make you seem untrustworthy. That being said, the quickest ways to establish trust is to repeat these first three principles till you find a match. After that...

Get It in Writing

Human brains have a literally inconceivable amount of information coming into them at any given moment. They have to filter all that information, store some of it, and create something out of that to spur your body into action. Give your brain a break. Write down your ideas. If you are proposing an idea to someone, give them something to look over. Online is good; however, Having a physical copy is a nice touch. A good contract satisfies both parties. contact information is so useful. Look, I'm not trying to write the next best selling self help book here. Literally everyone gets it in writing in some form or another when it's time to do business. That's what a business plan is. Mine is written on a piece of spiral paper and taped to my wall next to a drawing that the daughter of a real estate agent who bought my dads dishes drew. These are the building blocks of your story.

Make Connections (and connect often)

This is the hard part. Just go out and talk to friends and strangers. Be Kind. Treat others with respect. Act with integrity. Stay on your grind and get shit done.

That's basically it. This is a surefire way to insert yourself into any hierarchy. Take control of your agency. It's amazing how fast it works if you look in the right places.

As always, thank you for reading,

-K-Wullums

J Say of the Day: Stack the deck in you favor by being favorable